I want to write for South Park!

If you are not watching this season of South Park, you are seriously missing out. Once again Matt Stone and Trey Parker have hit a cultural nerve and attacked it with insightful abandon. And if you are offended by the cartoon, you can take that stick out of your ass and replace it with some form of motorized phallus, because you need to go fuck yourself.

Crazy Sex Machine

God damn I want to write for that show. Maybe I should start a Gofundme to fly me to their studio so I can camp out in front like Huike waiting to learn from Bodhidharma. My mind is still, oh masters of irreverent comedy. Let me learn at your side.

South Park Praying

I know I said that my ultimate life goal is to write a 10 part mini-series of Tolkien’s first age, and that would still be awesome, but to write for South Park I would do unspeakable things to myself, or anyone willing. Well, unspeakable until it was time to write a script for the show, then it’s balls out (literal and figurative) and pedal to the metal.

Matt Stone and Trey Parker have a gift for pointing out the absurdities of extremism. Time and time again they take both sides of an issue and drive it to its utmost, and in so doing they reveal that no matter where we stand, if we take ourselves too seriously we become a caricature of our own ideals. And if they have fourth graders jacking off a dog or a tiny Cartman/Cupid pissing in sleeping people’s mouths now and then, all the better. The obscenities act like a shoehorn, prying your mind open just wide enough that maybe a new idea can slip in.

Gays are cool

No one, and I mean NO ONE, has better comedic timing. The first time I watched South Park it was of the first six shows, and with episode one I was sold. There was a scene where Cartman is… you know what? Watch it for yourselves.

See that silence that lasts a couple beats? Fucking Genius! And they’ve only gotten better.

Now that I think about it, my whole life has been in preparation to write for South Park. Every disgusting comment, every timely insult, even my Throw Oz Under The Bus Blog Challenge, has been to better equip me for South Park.

Please Matt and Trey, give me a chance. Comedy is my life, and pointing out stupid shit people do is my passion. Give me a glass of wine, throw me in the room with the other writers, and watch me soar.

Kenny Flying

Share this blog if you think I should write for South Park. Maybe they will hear.