Delusions Of Men

Welcome to Week 7 of my “Throw Oz Under The Bus Blog Challenge”, where I discuss whichever topic my Facebook “friends” suggest. This time I have to tackle a deep philosophical question:

Is it true that “bitches be tripping” or is that sexist bullshit of the highest order

Oh yes, the eternal question. Do Bitches Be Tripping? This was the question that caused Socrates to take poison; Plato made up the story of the trial as a cover. Bitches Be Tripping, BBT as it was known by the ancient Greeks, is an easy question to know the answer to, but terrifying to say out loud. It is a question in the same category as Do These Pants Make Me Look Fat (also easy to know yet deadly to say aloud).

I, unlike the Greeks, have no fear of women. As a crusader for Truth, I speak my mind and answer all questions with kind honesty, no matter how many lonely nights on the couch I must suffer. I have often said “Do not ask what I think unless you are ready to know”.

As far as I’m concerned Bitches Be Tripping is a philosophical truism, possibly even a tautology. Might as well ask if cats are mammals, or if humans are mortal, or if Dicks Be Delusional. If she be Tripping, then she be a Bitch; Tripping is in the definition of Bitch.

Bitches Be Tripping

     The tricky part is, is she tripping? If she is checking every one of your texts behind your back and thinks you are sleeping with every female in your life, that Bitch Be Tripping. If she notices you looking at another beautiful woman walking by and threatens to burn your house down, that Bitch be Tripping.

If, however, she flips you off for cat calling her as she walks down the street, or if she happens to notice some chick is sending you tit picks on your phone, or she calls you out for watching the game instead of washing the dishes like you promised for the past three days, she is not Tripping. If you think she is, then you sir, are a Dick. And, as I’ve said, Dicks Be Delusional. And sexist.

Delusional

     Saying “Bitch Be Tripping” is often just sexist bullshit, but not of the highest order. That would be reserved for when women in power are more often asked what they are wearing than what they are doing to help the country. Or when the Delusional Dick swizzle Republican-controlled Michigan House of Representatives banned Rep. Lisa Brown from speaking because she said “Vagina”. Or when adult women can’t go out in public without covering their faces and are in the company of a male, even if the male is only a seven year old boy. Or (the worst as far as I’m concerned) the Judeo-Christian’s absurd belief that women are only an extension of men and created so he has someone to diddle while doing all the important things. As a side note, I think God is gay. He could create anything his heart desired and chose a naked man in the jungle. Just saying.

God is Gay

Bitches Be Tripping, Dicks Be Delusional, and this Blog Be Done.

 

If you want to suggest a topic for next week friend me on Facebook.

Thanks for Reading.

 

~Oz