Shattered, shadoobie

This week’s challenge may finally be too much for me. Not because of the topic “The Light Speed Velocity of an Unladen Swallow“, but because of heinous fuckery most foul. I just shattered my laptop screen and have to write the entire thing on my new phone. But the bus stops for no one.

This one is going to be short and sweet. No pictures, no links, and no looking up ideas or answers. And no calculator. It will be all me and what information I can dig out of my Robotussin addled mind. Oh, I didn’t mention? Everyone in my house us sick. The wheels on the bus go round and round.

Right or wrong, good or bad, here we go.

First, the speed of light is 300,000 Kilometers per second(kms) and is represented by the letter ‘c’

I’m going to estimate the average flying speed of the common non-coconut carrying swallow to be about 50 kilometers an hour (kmh). I have to convert that into kms so they are in the same units. Divide 50 by 60 to get the speed per minute .83, then again by 60 to get to seconds. About .015kms I think.

So, to review

Speed of light 300,000kms

Unladen Swallow .015kms, which comes to .00000005c, or 5 hundred millionth of the speed of light.

At that speed it would take close to 2 billion years for the poor bird to reach the nearest star, Proxima Centauri.

Fuckstockings that is slow. I don’t know if Centauri would even still be there.

That is all for an UNLADEN swallow. What if it was carrying something,  like an Alcuberre warp drive. Sunny White of NASA is still working on proving the concept, but if it pans out, we can get that little feathered bastard to go ten times the speed of light. Now we’re talking.

So, my assessment is that an unladen swallow is useless for interstellar travel, but a swallow appropriately laden could be like a trans solar messenger bird.

And here comes the bus. At least I tried. See you next week. Hopefully I’ll have a working computer again.

Thanks for readin,

~Oz

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