Why is Josh an asshat? Well, let me set the stage. Here I am, a budding writer, my first book is newly finished and in the hands of beta-readers, and I’ve finally taken the plunge into blogging to try to gain readership. The only problem is, what do I blog about? I have too many interests. I can wax poetic on space exploration, the (non)existence of God, anxiety or depression, writing what you love, Anne Hathaway’s nude scenes in Love and Other Drugs. I just couldn’t decide. In my naivety I passed the question onto my Facebook friends; the suggestion with the most “likes” would be my topic.
Now we come to Josh, the asshat. Halfway into plotting out my ideas for the topic I was sure would win, “The Necessity of Booze While Writing”, suggested by The Literary Noob, when Josh, the asshat, dropped his bomb, “Coping With a Wife and Children While Keeping Your Love of Young Shaved Boys Secret”. Of course with Facebook being as full of trolls as it is, Josh’s suggestion quickly surpassed all contenders.
Josh, you have been one of my best friends for nearly twenty years, so I’m comfortable saying this; you sir, are an asshat.
Never being one to shy away from a challenge (being more prone to a flat out sprint) I decided to stick to my word. So…uh…where to start…Catholic priests? No, they don’t have wives and children. Republicans? Getting there, but not quite right. Anti-gay activist? Yeah, now we’re talking.
*Note-for the purposes of this blog, “Boy” will refer to males between the ages of 18 and 21.
Here we go:
“Coping With a Wife and Children While Keeping Your Love of Young Shaved Boys Secret”
I’m looking at you Mister Anti-gay, but actually in the closet, activist. Do you know what I want to say to you, what I want to shout from the rooftops to your oblivious wife and kids? I’ll tell you. Ready?
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU! Did you hear that? Nothing, not a damn thing, is wrong with you, other than your self-loathing. It is perfectly natural for you to be attracted to someone of the same sex. It’s even okay for you to still love your family while being attracted to a young man. It doesn’t have to be a secret. If your wife hates homosexuals, then she hates you too. You don’t need that in your life.
If you love women, and want to be married to a woman, but also want to have a young shaved pool boy to diddle every now and then, that’s fine too. As long as your wife is okay with it. There are thousands of examples of happy, healthy, relationships like that all over the world. All it takes is honesty with, and between, you and your partner(s). Well, honesty and hard work. It’s hard enough for just two people to work out all their differences, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be done for three, or even more. Not only can it be done, is has, and is, being done.
So, be honest with your wife about what you are into. Who knows, maybe she would be into watching. It happens. You could be living the life of your dreams if only you could let go the self-loathing, be honest, and do the hard work of redefining your relationships.
Love in all its forms is beautiful, and so are you.
And Josh is still an asshat.
If you want to give me a prompt for next week, friend me on Facebook
Thanks for reading.